Dating as a Single Mom —-by DARBY
So, I often get asked by friends; “How do date when you are a single mom”? Who watches your son for you? Do you have time for a relationship? Well honestly dating is hard. Maybe it’s harder than it is for other people.
For one, I cannot just go when I want to go or where I want to go. I have to try to find a babysitter or wait until my son goes to his father’s for the weekend. It is my personal choice to not go out and date or party when my son is with me during the week. He is my responsibility and I don’t feel right pawning him off on other people so I can go get drunk. It doesn’t seem right, to me (however, to each their own).
But what perhaps is even harder is trying to decide who is right to date. Unfortunately I need someone more mature and understanding because my son will always be first. I have dated a few people since my son was born and they have all been different; some with kids, some without kids. Some relationships lasted longer than others. There was only one instance where I introduced the person I was dating to my son. We dated for almost a year. He had two boys about the same age as my son, so we would go to the playground, or the zoo, out to eat and to the movies. The downside was that we never really got any time to ourselves.
Unfortunately we went our separate ways. It was hard for me but perhaps harder for my son. He asked where he was and where his boys were when they could play again. Finding the right answer was hard because I couldn’t just say oh we broke up. He was too little to understand.
I’ve dated since then and honestly I do not introduce my son to the people I date and honestly I will not until I know they intend to stick around because it is too difficult.