SINGLE MOM STEROTYPES —BY DARBY
Since my son’s father and I aren’t together anymore, it is pretty much just me and my son. He goes to his dad’s most weekends but it is still primarily just us. I’ve noticed over the years while I’ve attended my son’s school functions and sports functions that I am being judged for being a single mom and that I deal with all kinds of stereotypes on a daily basis.
So I thought I would do my best to squash some of those stereotypes.
First, ladies single moms are not after your husbands. You don’t need to be paranoid that we are home wreckers. Just because we are single does not by any means mean we are desperate.
Second, I think people assume that because we are single moms are stupid. Or that we can’t be trusted. Sorry. Not true. I know for a fact that I am more intelligent than many of these married stay at home moms who couldn’t function without relying on their husbands.
Third, people assume my child comes from a broken home. His father and I may not be together but there is nothing broken about it. He is still surrounded by love and support. He has everything he needs and most of what he wants.
Fourth, people seem to question where do single moms get money from. Please you really think we are out on the street turning tricks. No we have more self respect. Personally, I work my ass off. There was a point in time I had three jobs so that I knew my son would be taken care of.
Fifth, because we are single moms and supposedly failed at marriage we are setting our kids up for a life of failure. This again is not true. Who is to say I am a failure?! Each day I wake up and I do what I need to do. That it’s failing that is striving for better. If anything my son is learning that things may not always be easy or go the way we plan for them to go. But you shouldn’t give up. Keep trying and things will work themselves out.
This post may have been a little comical but it really is a serious issue. It is something I deal with on a daily basis. I do most of the work. I am the one who goes to the school conferences alone and to the football games and wrestling matches. The married parents look at me like I am the plague. When the school used to call me they’d would call and say Mrs. And use my son’s fathers last name. That was weird. When my son was younger I used to wear a wedding band on my finger so people would just assume I was married and that his dad just worked a lot. It doesn’t bother me as much anymore. It still does sometimes as much as I pretend not to care what people think. All I’m saying is think a little before you judge someone who is a single mom. Maybe they got pregnant and the father decided he wanted nothing to do with them. Maybe her husband passed away leaving her a single mom. Maybe she adopted or went through IVF. You don’t always know someone’s story so maybe get to know someone before you assume or pass judgment.
Things aren’t always what they seem.